down..

The thoughts of a certain someone will not leave my head. I know it's been a tough day and I should just go to bed and let sleep sort everything out but instead I'm still awake. I keep praying that God will send me the person I am supposed to be most happy with and where it hasn't bothered me being single for all this time, it is weighing on me pretty good now. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow so I've got to get this out now or it might keep me from sleeping all through the night.
I fell in love with someone who left. Someone who never liked me as much as I liked him. It broke me. I see him and my heart freaks out.. beats violently in my chest till I distract myself with someone else less important. It's been some time since the accidental heartbreak and where my heart still aches for the love I thought I'd found, I'm doing alright. Well for some reason, during last sunday's sermon, it hit me like something fierce. I just want to love and be loved in return. I should have already used that four letter word but I haven't. I've heard it but never felt the same way towards the person. That hurts too btw.. not being able to use those three little words. God I am very grateful that you have helped me get a job and get accepted into the Culinary Management program. I love being able to say, "I'm a culinary student" and that "I have work." If I'm not busy enough, you'd think I wouldn't wish to find someone who would take up the rest of my free time, but that's not the case apparently. Maybe I don't know what I'm wishing for but I obviously don't care.
I'm hoping that having a job will bring new people into my life and then when I start school, I will be put together with other people who share my passion. Staying home all this time hasn't helped me meet people.. even with the occasional trip to the bookstore.. ;)
Okay.. apparently watching the previews for Lisa Kudrow's new show has turned my frown completely right side up. :) Going to bed.. this may be deleted soon.. need to stay positive.

Little Working Girl..

Ha! Sounds funny when I say that but I am now employed.. just sounds boring. I love that I have a job now. I will be able to contribute at home and save money for school. Publix seems like a great place to work and the other cashiers I worked with today are very very cool. :)

     I started cashiering last tuesday afternoon after my computer training and then did 5 hours on the register Wednesday which was pretty tough. I haven't spent that long on my feet in a while.. at least not with out periodical trip from my kitchen to the couch for a break. My feet were a little tired but after an Advil and some of grandma's cooking and I was good as new. Got to spend the night with my cousins and then get some sun the next day. Great day off.

     Today was my second full day of cashiering and it was a breeze. My lower back hurt a little around 4 but I pushed through it. I didn't give anyone wrong change and I only forgot to give someone a bag once but I caught him before he was out the day so it was all in all a great day. We have good baggers that show up out of no where when you need them and good managers that can always be reached when there's a problem.

     Tomorrow I will be training with the Meal Specialist trainer for Apron's all day. I'll be at the store from 8:30am to 5pm. I am told that the woman is nice but a little demanding so I'm hoping she will be in a good mood tomorrow for me. :) I'm going to get in bed early enough tonight so I can be fully awake in the morning.. and I will be definitely setting the coffee maker up tonight so I can be alert along with awake. ;)

     I met the weekday Apron's woman today. Her name is Lisa and she is very nice. She told me a little bit about how she works and how the meals are prepared. I found out that every Publix store makes the same meals day to day. I wish they made desserts but I'm sure they don't. There is a convection/ microwave oven, mini fridge and sink in the Apron's station and you do everything in the station.. including all the prep work. I'm pretty excited to get started.
 
     On a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being the best. I was at a 8.75 when I got home at 5:15pm. That was mainly due to being hungry but after having a snack/ small meal I'm feeling pretty good. Just relaxing on my awesome oversized chair, watching the news and checking my stuff online.

     I'm waiting to hear from FSCJ about my Culinary application. I heard from a woman last Friday. I hadn't changed my major to Culinary Management so I went and handled that immediately. I really hope they contact me early next week. Classes will start next month! Please be praying that I get good news from them this weekend or next week. I really don't know what I'll do if I don't get into the program this semester. I can't think about that though. I need to keep a positive attitude and hopefully it will all work out. :)

     Well that's what been happening lately. My garden is over growing.. lol. The ground hornets scare the crap out of me every time I go out the door. I made Cake Balls Monday afternoon in anticipation of my Aunt Dee's birthday dinner Wednesday. They were extra yummy for my first try. I'm excited to try different cake/ frosting/ and chocolate combinations next time. My dad's birthday is coming up so maybe I'll make him his favorite next time. :)

     I can't wait for my first check to be deposited! I'm going to go watch Wheel of Fortune now and think about making something for dinner. :)

The Waiting Game..

     I'm waiting on something to stop and something to begin. My patience is limited but I'm praying God will replenish my patience and peace before the weekend gets here. I really need all the patience I can get right now. Waiting to start a job is so frustrating. I wish this world wasn't so unclean and drug testing weren't necessary.. but it keeps us honest.. so I guess it's for the better. So with that said, I went in for my drug test yesterday and it was an in-store mouth swab test. I've never done one like that before but it seemed very efficient. I hope the test gets shipped early and I hear back from them before Monday.. which is the day Bonnie said I'd hear from them.
     After I get the go ahead, I'll go Tuesday and Wednesday for a Introduction to Publix seminar like thingie. I'm still not quite sure of what it will really be about but I was told it was sort of like a welcoming to Publix. THEN, I'll get trained as a cashier in-store and hopefully be working as soon as possible. Jayne said I'd probably get trained in cashiering before the Meal Specialist could come in to train me in the Apron's which is completely fine cause I'll be cashiering more than working in the Apron's station.
     Today I just tried to read up on Publix via the Publix website and it was really helpful. I learned a lot about all that the Apron's employee's do. I mean my responsibilities will be awesome and hopefully not a job at all. I learned that Publix originated in Florida, in 1930 and it is mostly a south east grocery store. BUT it is a Fortune 500 company and on Fortune's top 100 best places to work so I'm extra excited to make my own opinion. I already love to shop there and the Publix located a few blocks from me has stocked their store so I can have lunch meats, and sausages without MSG and sodium nitrate and sodium nitrite which I am allergic to. They have also brought in more Gaterade flavors since they had only 5 when they opened which was simply UNCOOL! :)
     Oh! I had purchased Bistro Crocs for work/school which have the slip resistant bottoms and no holes on top, but when Jayne was going over the uniform she said no Crocs. I know I can still wear them for school though so they will not go unworn. After my dad's doctor appointment Tuesday afternoon, we went shopping and decided to give Rack Room Shoes another chance. I tried on ALL the solid black shoes in the women's department and when nothing felt or looked nice, I ventured over into the men's section and found a pair of Nike's that I liked but the smallest size they went down to was a 7 1/2. I thought I was going to leave empty handed until my dad disappeared and came back with what I thought was a smaller size from the back but turned out to be the boy's version in my size! It was practically the shoe and I loved it. It made my foot look so narrow and cute. Ha! I wore them today for a few hours and while making dinner and my feet don't hurt at all. :)
    The real test will be that first day. I don't expect to feel fine and dandy considering how long it's been since I've worked but I certainly hope I can feel my toes by the end of my shift. :)
     I guess I'm the new "Waitie Katie". But even since I started writing this blog, I feel a little less restless so I can foresee some relief soon. I can see the light. :)
     I pray these fires and this smoke subsides soon. I know some people with awful asthma and it is really affecting them. Rain is all I can think about when I look outside these days. My flowers really prefer the rain to water from the hose.. ;)
    God bless all!

I saw the future and it opened my eyes I saw the future..

Today might have been more monumental than I thought. To be honest it's kind of unbelievable.
Let me start at the beginning.. After waiting all week long with no word, no calls and no emails, I broke down. This was Friday night and I thought I was going to have to wait till the next week before I maybe heard something. Well to my surprise Saturday afternoon around 2 (which was the time I predicted they'd call..) a very nice woman called me to ask if I could come in for an interview Monday. You know my answer. Of course in my moody state, I went through about 4 different emotions in less than 10 minutes. I called the people who had been getting me through the waiting period and then just started praying. God seriously opened a door and all I had to do was walk through it at 2pm on Monday.. and I certainly did.
Well I got up early this morning as usual and proceeded to make breakfast and watch Kathy & Hoda and then I went into I'm-on-a-mission mode so I could get ready in time for my interview.
Nerves kicked in about halfway through curling my hair so I sent out a few texts hoping to get some encouraging words back. Well of course my grandma responded and the lovely Tansy sent great words and I calmed down quite a bit. I got out of the house with just enough time to get there with a few minutes to spare. I felt so comfortable as soon as I walked in and after being handed off to the manager, I was just fine. I felt like I was talking with friends. The manager was super nice and pretty much just asked me what department I wanted to work in. It was awesome to say the least. The bakery was full but I wasn't expecting to just get right in so I was more than happy to start with cashiering or anything really.
So the interview was a success. But wait it gets better.. I was walking to my car, about halfway there and I hear my name. I turn around and the manager is asking(yelling) me to come back in and meet someone. I go back in having no idea who I'm going to meet and it turns out to be another manager. She heard that I was trying to get into culinary school and she has been looking for someone to work in the Aprons station a few days a week and wants me to do it. I said a solid YES and will be getting trained very soon hopefully. :) It felt great to be needed. I'll be helping them while doing something I love and getting paid! :)
It was a great day. I keep having say out loud, "I got a job!" to make it feel real..
Well it is real.. I'll be getting up earlier than usual to be ready for when they call tomorrow. I'm suppose to go back in to fill out paperwork I'm guessing and discuss training. That should make it even more real.
Thanks for all the prayers everyone. I appreciate them more than you know.
God bless!

God give me the strength and patience to get through this month..

     I want to know for sure but I can't know for a whole month. It's torture. I want to be excited and know that when I'm telling people about my "good news" that it's actually going to happen and I'm not going to have to tell everyone that I won't be starting till the following semester if things don't go as planned. I guess I'm just being cautious by not allowing myself to get too excited but I wish I could be. I want to get excited and start planning and gathering all that I'm going to need come August.

     I feel very stir crazy these days. I'm just waiting and waiting. Waiting for my Spanish class to start in a week and waiting for the book store to get the book in I need. It's just so frustrating not to know what the future holds. I know I'm supposed to start this program and I would like to start as soon as possible but knowing and saying that doesn't change the fact that it's not in my hands. It's in the colleges hands and Gods if he thinks I'm ready to start now. I just keep praying that my friends brother in law does actually have some say at the college and that I get put on the list for the Fall term. ----------------------------

     Well I started this blog yesterday and some new stuff has come up since then. I found out today that the instructor for my Spanish class has backed out and a new instructor has taken his place. She has no reviews on ratemyprofessor.com and with less than a week before the class starts, still hasn't given her book preference to the campus bookstore. It just makes me sad. I was looking forward to meeting the original teacher I signed up for. He was so highly rated and the class was shortened so it was perfect. I could take it and it would be over in time for my first semester of culinary management. But I'm just going to let it go. I'm not going to stress over it. I already told my dad and I'm going to call my Grandma later to tell her.

     I was researching last night about slip resistant shoes and uniforms. Fun! I found some shoes that I like and I think that the money from the Spanish class can be used to buy knives, a uniform, shoes, and probably a book so it's good that I'm withdrawing from the class. The money can be used for something way more important. :)

     So with that little news said, I have Beta tonight and I hope more people show up. Last week only one other person besides myself came. I like my thursday night bible study group. My mom was supposed to come out to have lunch and get hair cuts but she wasn't feeling good that has been postponed till tomorrow. It's fine. I have plenty of chores I can do today. I'm already working on washing all of our new towels that FB brought us. It was so nice of him. NOW we can throw all of our old towels into the rag bin or at least use a few for dog towels only. :) Dad's going to be in rag heaven. haha.

     I plan to give Haley a bath later today too. The shampoo we have for her smells like pineapple and makes her feel extremely soft. Something tells me she will love having her very own towel from now on. lol. What ever. Dogs could care less. She does love getting baths though. She's even gone and jumped in the tub all by herself before. I love watching her run around like crazy while rubbing on everything in her path when she gets out. It's almost as cute as when she plays with her food. :)

     I hope everyone is enjoying this awesome weather we are having.. and those who are not down here in sunning Florida and may not be having that greatest weather, don't let it get you down. I'm sure you will have a sunny day soon. :)

New Beginnings for Two Beautiful Girls..

     Tomorrow afternoon my cousins are having a joined graduation party. They are expecting 70 people to come! Seems like a lot huh? Well they are that loved. The oldest graduated from JU a few weekends ago and the younger will be graduating next weekend from high school. I'm so proud of them both. Lindsey is the valedictorian of her 2011 class and she totally deserves it. There is talk of Lauren traveling to NYC to audition somewhere and she's been working really hard to get the money together for her trips. Determination is definitely a prominent character trait that radiates through this entire family. I know they both have amazing futures ahead of them. Or that's what I've been praying for at least.
     The future is always a little scary, a little exciting and a little hard to think about but lately I see the future of my family rising higher and higher. It seems like a lot is falling right into place. 
     In my last blog I told y'all about my trip to north campus to sit through an information seminar about the culinary management program they offer, and took a tour and filled out an application that I figured I'd have to wait to hear anything about till July. Well, just one day after I went to the seminar, my dad's friend called to see how our visit was. We knew his brother in law was a chef teacher at the college but we weren't thinking about trying to use that angle. My dad's friend asked if we wanted him to give his brother in law a call and well.. he did. He told him about me and how I wasn't going to quit half way through and that this was definitely what I wanted to do with my life. So.. if those of you Facebook readers saw my post about the voicemail that could have quite possibly changed my life, this is the news I got around noon yesterday, "You can tell her that he said he would get her on the list." I don't know if that means I'm on the list for next semester or what but it didn't stop from shedding a few happy tears and then calling my family, from my living room floor where I was sprawled out, to tell them the good news. I probably thanked god 30 times in the 2 or 3 hours after I got off the phone with my dad. Come August I could very well be on my way to becoming a chef. Just the idea alone is still hard to fulling handle. I was so giddy and happy the rest of the day. I even got to go to a friends and celebrate a little bit even though it was pretty uneventful, I had fun. 
     So to continue in the culinary theme, I will be making some pretty interesting but fun desserts for my cousins party tomorrow. I still need pretzels and coconut m&m's and cream cheese. Hopefully I can get my dad to pick all that stuff up on his way home so I don't have to leave my house. I think I am going to making spaghetti from scratch tonight. The recipe is one I got from some other really good cooks in my family. :)
   -  Okay, for really good homemade spaghetti sauce, cut up a medium sized onion and 1 shallot. Saute them in olive oil till the onions are soft. Add about 5 cloves of garlic and cook a few more minutes. At this point I add my seasonings.... salt, pepper, red pepper flakes, oregano, and just any other spice/seasoning you want (I kind of play around with it). Stir it all around and distribute all the seasonings. At this point, add some red wine and deglaze the pan. Cook out the alcohol and then add a can of tomato paste. Stir that around and then add a can or 2 of Tomato sauce (if you like chunky sauce, you can add fresh tomatoes or canned), stir to incorporate and then add about 1 1/2 tablespoons of brown sugar and then let that simmer for a while (I usually let it cook for about 30 minutes, minimum). After everything's cooked together for a while, taste it and adjust the seasonings to your liking. After that... enjoy! - Thanks Jessie! :)
     I will post pictures of my creations later.
Hope everyone has a fun and safe Memorial Day weekend. :)

Future!

     Today was pretty amazing. I went to an Information Seminar on the culinary programs offered at a campus I had never been to. I was thoroughly impressed. My dad even took the day off to go with me to act as a second pair of eyes and ears. I'm just glad he got excited right along with me. Often I don't know if he is on board with my passions.
     After a very detailed description of the courses and costs and other requirements, the department head took us on a tour of the labs. It was really cool to see students at work in the kitchen and I really just liked the whole setup. Open windows, spacious work stations, and really happy smiling students.
     It made this dream a reality. I got to see what the uniforms look like and a lecture classroom, along with a food class in progress, that I later saw tasting the food they had been making when I came back through on the tour.
     The internships are to die for. The list of places I could go work for seems endless and very upscale. One caught my eye but I don't want to get too ahead of myself. You have to be accepted into the program and only some 35 people are chosen each semester. I did fill out an application after the tour. It was actually pretty short. Just a checklist to see where you are in the enrollment process, your prior experience, your goals and how you came to know about the program. Very simple and I threw in "passion", "perfect fit" and wonderful timing to try and emphasize the importance of getting selected to start in August. I'll probably jump up and down if I get that acceptance letter in the mail in July.. like literally jumping and screaming and uncontrollable laughter. :) Pray I get in cause I really want to start as soon as possible. I don't want to waste any more time just going part time, not knowing if the classes I'm taking are going to get me anywhere in life. THIS IS WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO! I just know it. I love food, I love to create knew dishes and entertain people. I love the presentation side of it and the hospitality side. I can't wait to fill my brain with all kinds of new information.
     I was being serious about praying for me though. I'm not sure how they pick people. All I know is that I will be following up with the department head that talked with us today. I want to be heard and show him I truly want and need to start this next semester. Hopefully he sees my determination and doesn't see a young girl, who is off on another venture that won't get seen through to the finish. Not the case here. :)
I'm going to bed a happy girl.
Night loves!